Both Sides of the Desk: Asking for a Raise (The Engineer’s Perspective)
In the first post of this series, I explored burnout from the network engineer's perspective. In the second post, I flipped the desk to examine burnout from the manager's viewpoint.
Now let's tackle something that makes almost everyone uncomfortable: asking for a raise.
This post is from the engineer's perspective - the person sitting across the desk trying to advocate for themselves. I'll cover the manager's side in the next post, but for now, let's talk about what it's like to be the person asking.
I've been on both sides of this conversation now. I've asked for raises as an engineer (sometimes successfully, sometimes not). And now, as a manager, I've been on the receiving end of these requests.
Here's what I wish I'd known as an engineer, what actually works, and what definitely doesn't.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Asking for a Raise
Let's start here: asking for a raise feels terrible for most engineers.
Why it feels awful:
You're putting yourself out there. You're saying "I'm worth more than you're paying me." You're risking rejection. You're potentially damaging your relationship with your manager if it goes badly. You're afraid of seeming greedy or entitled. You're worried about being seen as ungrateful for what you have.
And if you're like many engineers, you're conflict-averse and would rather just hope your manager notices your value without having to explicitly ask.
Here's the reality:
Your manager probably isn't going to give you a significant raise without you asking. Not because they don't value you, but because:
They're managing budget constraints
They assume if you were unhappy with compensation, you'd say something
They're focused on squeaky wheels and immediate problems
Compensation conversations happen during specific budget cycles
In many organizations, proactive raises are rare
The hard truth: If you don't advocate for yourself, nobody else will. Your manager has a dozen priorities competing for their attention and budget. Your compensation isn't at the top of that list unless you make it a priority.
This doesn't mean your manager doesn't care about you. It means you need to actively participate in managing your own career and compensation.
Do You Actually Deserve a Raise?
Before we talk about how to ask, let's talk about whether you should ask.
Not everyone who wants a raise has a strong case for one. And going into the conversation without understanding whether you have a legitimate argument is setting yourself up for failure.
Good Reasons You Might Deserve a Raise
1. Your Responsibilities Have Significantly Expanded
You were hired to manage branch office networks. Now you're also managing the data center, leading security initiatives, and mentoring junior engineers. Your job is fundamentally different and more complex than what you were hired for.
Key Question: Is your actual role significantly bigger than what's in your job description or what you were hired to do?
2. Your Skills Have Substantially Increased
You've earned certifications, learned new technologies, or developed expertise that makes you significantly more valuable. You're now the go-to person for technologies that are critical to the business.
Key Question: Are you providing value to the organization that you couldn't provide a year ago?
3. You're Performing at a Higher Level Than Your Title/Compensation Suggests
You're a "Network Engineer II" but you're doing the work of a Senior Network Engineer or Network Architect. You're solving problems, making decisions, and carrying responsibility that exceeds your current level.
Key Question: Are you consistently operating above your current role level?
4. You've Delivered Significant, Measurable Results
You led a major infrastructure project that came in under budget and ahead of schedule. You identified and fixed security vulnerabilities that prevented a breach. You automated processes that save the team 20 hours per week. You can point to specific, business-impacting accomplishments.
Key Question: Can you quantify the value you've delivered to the organization?
5. You're Being Paid Below Market Rate
You've done research and discovered that your skills, experience, and responsibilities command 15-20% more in the current market. Comparable roles at comparable companies are paying significantly more.
Key Question: Is your compensation aligned with market rates for your actual role and location?
6. It's Been a Long Time Since Your Last Raise
You've been in role for 3+ years without a significant increase (beyond cost-of-living adjustments). During that time, you've grown in capability but your compensation hasn't reflected that growth.
Key Question: Has your compensation kept pace with your growth and contribution over time?
[INTERNAL LINK OPPORTUNITY: "Understanding how your skills and responsibilities have grown connects to career development, something I explored in navigating your network engineering career path - compensation should reflect your actual value, not just time in seat."]
Bad Reasons That Won't Work
1. "I Need More Money"
Your personal financial needs aren't your employer's problem. Needing money for a house, car, student loans, or lifestyle doesn't create a business case for higher compensation.
Reality: Your compensation should reflect your value to the organization, not your expenses.
2. "I've Been Here X Years"
Tenure alone doesn't justify a raise. If you've been doing the same work at the same level for 5 years, why does the organization owe you more money?
Reality: Longevity matters, but only if it's accompanied by growth, deepening expertise, or expanded contribution.
3. "Other People Got Raises"
Your coworker's compensation isn't relevant unless you can demonstrate that you're performing at the same level with similar responsibilities but being paid less.
Reality: Comparing yourself to others without context isn't compelling. Focus on your own value.
4. "I Work Really Hard"
Working hard is expected. Everyone works hard. Effort alone doesn't justify higher compensation - results do.
Reality: You're paid for impact and value delivered, not hours worked or effort expended.
5. "I'll Leave If You Don't Give Me a Raise"
Threats rarely work and often backfire. If you have to threaten to leave to get a raise, the relationship is already damaged.
Reality: If you're genuinely prepared to leave, have the offer in hand and resign professionally. Using it as leverage is risky and damages trust.
When to Ask for a Raise
Timing matters. A lot.
Good Times to Ask
During Budget Planning Cycles
Most organizations do compensation planning annually, typically Q4 for following year budget. Asking during this window means your request can be included in planning rather than requiring mid-year budget exceptions.
Ask your manager: "When does our organization typically do compensation planning? I'd like to have a conversation about my compensation before that cycle."
After Major Accomplishments
You just finished a critical infrastructure project. You handled a major incident that saved the business from extended downtime. You delivered something significant and visible.
The window: Within 2-4 weeks of the accomplishment, while it's still fresh and visible.
During Performance Review Cycles
Many organizations tie compensation discussions to annual reviews. This is a natural time to discuss your performance and compensation together.
The approach: Don't wait for the review meeting to bring it up. Let your manager know beforehand that you want to discuss compensation so they can prepare.
When You Receive a Job Offer from Another Company
If you have a legitimate offer and you'd genuinely consider staying if compensation improved, this is a powerful time to have the conversation.
The caveat: Only do this if you're truly prepared to leave. Using an offer as negotiation leverage is risky - your manager might say, "You should take it."
When Your Role Has Significantly Changed
If your responsibilities have expanded substantially, that's the time to discuss whether your compensation should be adjusted to reflect the new scope.
The timing: Soon after the responsibility change, not 6 months later.
Bad Times to Ask
Right After Someone Else Got a Raise
This makes it look like you're reacting emotionally to someone else's compensation rather than advocating based on your own merit.
During a Company Financial Crisis
If the company just had layoffs, missed revenue targets, or is visibly struggling financially, asking for a raise shows poor situational awareness.
Immediately After Screwing Something Up
You just caused an outage or missed a major deadline. Wait until you've recovered and demonstrated improved performance.
Before You've Proven Yourself in a New Role
You just got promoted or changed roles 3 months ago. Give yourself time to demonstrate performance at the new level before asking for more money.
Mid-Year When Budgets Are Locked
If your organization does annual compensation planning and budgets are already allocated, a mid-year request requires budget exceptions that are harder to approve.
Exception: If your role or responsibilities changed significantly mid-year, that's different from just asking for more money in the same role.
Building Your Case: What Actually Works
Here's where most engineers fail: they ask for a raise without building a compelling case for why they deserve one.
"I think I deserve a raise" isn't an argument. It's an opinion.
Here's how to build a case that actually works:
1. Document Your Accomplishments
What You Did: For the past 6-12 months, document:
Major projects you led or significantly contributed to
Problems you solved that had business impact
Processes you improved or automated
Mentoring or leadership you provided
New skills or certifications you acquired
Make It Specific:
Bad: "I improved network performance."
Good: "I redesigned our WAN architecture, which reduced latency by 40% and increased available bandwidth by 60%. This improvement eliminated the performance complaints from our largest client and prevented them from considering contract termination."
Bad: "I help the team a lot."
Good: "I mentor two junior engineers, reviewing their configurations before implementation and teaching them troubleshooting methodology. This has reduced their escalations to senior team members by 70% and accelerated their development."
Quantify When Possible:
Hours saved through automation
Costs reduced through optimization
Revenue protected through uptime improvements
Problems prevented through proactive work
Team efficiency improved through mentoring
2. Research Market Rates
Do Your Homework:
Look at:
Salary surveys for your role, experience level, and location (Glassdoor, Salary.com, Robert Half Technology Salary Guide)
Job postings for similar roles in your area
Professional network conversations with peers in similar roles
Industry compensation reports
Be Realistic About Comparisons:
Your comparison should account for:
Geographic location (SF Bay Area vs. rural Midwest have different rates)
Company size and industry (Fortune 500 vs. small business)
Your actual experience and skills (don't compare yourself to someone with 10 more years of experience)
Total compensation (base salary, bonus, benefits, equity)
What This Gives You:
"Based on my research, network engineers with my experience level and skill set in our market are typically earning X−X- X−Y. My current compensation is below that range."
3. Understand Your Current Performance Level
Be Honest:
Are you:
Exceeding expectations consistently?
Meeting expectations reliably?
Sometimes struggling to meet expectations?
If you're not consistently exceeding expectations in your current role, asking for a raise is premature. Focus on improving performance first.
Get Feedback:
Before asking for a raise, have conversations with your manager about your performance:
"How am I doing relative to expectations for my role?"
"What would I need to do to be considered for promotion or increased compensation?"
"Are there areas where I should focus on improvement?"
This gives you data about whether your self-assessment matches your manager's assessment.
4. Prepare Specific Numbers
Don't Say: "I'd like a raise."
Do Say: "Based on my expanded responsibilities, increased skills, and market research, I'm requesting a salary adjustment to $X, which represents a Y% increase."
Be Reasonable:
Typical annual raises: 3-5% (cost of living) Solid performance raises: 5-10% Significant accomplishment raises: 10-15% Promotion-level raises: 15-20%+
Asking for a 30% raise without a promotion or dramatic role change is unrealistic in most organizations.
5. Prepare for the Conversation
Write It Down:
Don't wing this conversation. Prepare:
Your key accomplishments (3-5 specific examples)
Market data supporting your request
Specific compensation number you're requesting
Why you believe this adjustment is justified
Practice:
Rehearse the conversation. Say it out loud. Get comfortable with the words. This is awkward and uncomfortable - practice helps.
Anticipate Questions:
Your manager will likely ask:
"Why do you think you deserve a raise?"
"What have you accomplished since your last increase?"
"What market data are you basing this on?"
"What would happen if I said no?"
Have answers ready.
Preparing for difficult conversations is a skill that applies to many career situations, something I discussed in Navigating Your Network Engineering Career - Advocacy Requires Preparation.
The Actual Conversation: What to Say
Here's a framework that works:
1. Request the Meeting
Don't ambush your manager. Request a dedicated conversation:
"I'd like to schedule time to discuss my compensation and career progression. Do you have 30 minutes this week or next?"
Why This Works: It signals importance, gives your manager time to prepare, and sets expectations about the conversation topic.
2. Start with Context
"I want to talk about my compensation. I've been in this role for [timeframe], and I believe my contributions and responsibilities have grown significantly. I'd like to discuss whether my compensation reflects that growth."
Why This Works: You're framing this as a business discussion about alignment between contribution and compensation, not a complaint or demand.
3. Present Your Case
"Over the past [timeframe], I've accomplished:
[Specific accomplishment with business impact]
[Specific accomplishment with business impact]
[Specific accomplishment with business impact]
Additionally, my responsibilities have expanded to include [new responsibilities], which weren't part of my original role.
I've also researched market rates for network engineers with my experience and skills in our area, and I found that comparable roles are typically compensated at [range].
Based on my performance, expanded responsibilities, and market data, I'm requesting a salary adjustment to $X."
Why This Works: You're providing specific evidence, showing research, and making a clear, reasonable request.
4. Pause and Listen
After presenting your case, stop talking. Let your manager respond. Don't fill the silence with more talking or backtracking.
Your manager might:
Ask clarifying questions
Need time to think and review
Discuss budget constraints
Provide feedback on your assessment
Listen to their response fully before reacting.
5. Discuss Next Steps
Even if the answer isn't immediate "yes," clarify what happens next:
"What's the process for reviewing this request?" "When can I expect to hear back?" "Is there additional information you need from me?" "If a raise isn't possible right now, what would need to change for it to be possible in the future?"
What NOT to Say
Don't: "I need more money because my expenses have gone up."
Don't: "Everyone else is getting paid more than me."
Don't: "If you don't give me a raise, I'll leave."
Don't: "I work way harder than [coworker], and they probably make more."
Don't: "I've been here for X years, so I deserve a raise."
Don't: Cry, get angry, or become emotional.
These approaches undermine your credibility and make it harder for your manager to advocate for you.
When the Answer is No (Or Not Yet)
Let's be realistic: sometimes the answer is no. Or "not right now." Or "I need to think about it."
Here's how to handle each scenario:
"No, and Here's Why"
Your Manager Says:
"I understand you're looking for a raise, but given [budget constraints / your performance level / market conditions], I can't approve an increase right now."
How to Respond:
Don't argue. Don't get defensive. Ask clarifying questions:
"I appreciate you being direct with me. Can you help me understand what I would need to accomplish to be considered for a raise in the future?"
"Is this a budget constraint, or are there performance areas I should focus on improving?"
"What timeline should I be thinking about for revisiting this conversation?"
What This Gets You:
Either you learn there are performance gaps you weren't aware of (valuable feedback), or you learn it's a budget issue and nothing you do will change it right now (also valuable information).
"I Need to Think About This / Check on Budget"
Your Manager Says:
"You've given me a lot to think about. Let me review your accomplishments and see what's possible within our budget constraints. Can I get back to you by [date]?"
How to Respond:
"Absolutely, I appreciate you taking the time to consider this. Is there any additional information I can provide to help with your review?"
Then: Follow up on the date they committed to. If they said two weeks, follow up in two weeks.
"Yes, But Not What You Asked For"
Your Manager Says:
"I can't do the full amount you're requesting, but I can get you to $X, which is a Y% increase."
How to Respond:
Thank them for the increase and consider whether it's acceptable:
"I appreciate that. Can you help me understand what it would take to get closer to my requested amount in the future?"
Decision Point: Is a smaller increase better than nothing? Usually yes, unless it's insultingly low relative to your case.
"Yes, Here's What We Can Do"
Your Manager Says:
"You've made a strong case. I need to go through approval process, but I'm going to advocate for your requested increase."
How to Respond:
"Thank you, I really appreciate that. What's the timeline for the approval process, and is there anything I can do to support your case?"
Then: Follow up appropriately based on the timeline they gave you.
What If You Don't Get the Raise You Wanted?
This is where it gets real. You asked, you didn't get what you wanted (or got nothing), and now you need to decide what to do.
Option 1: Stay and Focus on What You Can Control
When This Makes Sense:
The feedback identified genuine performance gaps you can address
You believe leadership when they say budget constraints are temporary
You value other aspects of the job (learning opportunities, team, work-life balance)
The market isn't significantly better elsewhere
You want to give them time to address your request in the next budget cycle
What to Do:
Get clear on what success looks like: "If I accomplish [specific goals] over the next [timeframe], would that position me for the compensation adjustment I'm seeking?"
Then focus on those goals and revisit in the agreed-upon timeframe.
Sometimes staying and developing your skills is the right strategic move, something I explored in career development for network engineers - not every 'no' means you should leave immediately.
Option 2: Start Looking for External Opportunities
When This Makes Sense:
You're genuinely underpaid relative to the market
Your manager couldn't provide a clear path to the compensation you're seeking
Budget constraints seem permanent rather than temporary
You've been patient, and this isn't the first disappointing compensation conversation
You're not being valued or appreciated for your contributions
What to Do:
Start exploring the market:
Update your resume and LinkedIn
Network with peers in other organizations
Apply to roles that interest you
Interview to understand your market value
Important: Don't resign until you have an offer in hand. And don't use the offer as leverage unless you're genuinely prepared to leave.
Option 3: Accept It and Negotiate Other Benefits
When This Makes Sense:
The compensation feedback is fair, but the budget truly is constrained
You like the job and team
You're not in financial hardship
There are non-salary benefits you could negotiate
What to Negotiate:
If salary isn't movable, ask about:
Additional PTO days
Flexible work arrangements
Professional development budget
Conference attendance
Certification funding
Title change that reflects actual responsibilities
Bonus eligibility
Future equity grants (if applicable)
"I understand the salary constraint. Would it be possible to discuss [alternative benefit]?"
The Hard Truth About Leaving for Money
Reality Check:
The fastest way to significant salary increases is often changing companies. This is frustrating but true in many industries.
Typical raises staying at one company: 3-5% annually
Typical raises changing companies: 15-25%+
Why does this happens?
Organizations budget for incremental raises for existing employees but pay market rates for new hires. It's backwards and frustrating, but it's reality.
The Trade-off:
Leaving for money means:
Starting over politically and relationally
Losing accumulated knowledge of systems and culture
Giving up tenure benefits
Taking on the risk of a new environment not being what you expected
Sometimes it's worth it. Sometimes it's not. But understand what you're trading.
What I Wish I'd Known Earlier
Looking back at my own compensation conversations as an engineer, here's what I wish someone had told me:
1. Asking for a Raise Doesn't Make You Greedy
For years, I felt uncomfortable asking for raises. I thought good managers would just recognize my value and pay me accordingly.
That's naive. Your manager has competing priorities and budget constraints. Advocating for yourself is professional, not greedy.
2. Document Everything All the Time
Don't wait until you want a raise to start tracking your accomplishments. Keep a running document of projects completed, problems solved, and impact delivered.
When compensation conversation time comes, you'll have months of data ready instead of struggling to remember what you did.
3. Market Research Is Your Friend
I spent years not knowing whether I was paid fairly because I never researched market rates. Do the research. Know your value. This is information, not arrogance.
4. Timing Really Matters
I once asked for a raise two weeks after the company announced layoffs. Terrible timing, obviously in hindsight. Pay attention to organizational context.
5. Sometimes "No" Means "Not Here."
If you build a strong case, time it well, and still get rejected without a clear path forward, that's information. Maybe it's time to find an organization that values you appropriately.
Loyalty to an employer that doesn't value you isn't noble - it's undervaluing yourself.
6. The Conversation Gets Easier with Practice
The first time I asked for a raise, I was shaking. The fifth time, I was calm and professional. Like any skill, this gets easier with practice.
Managing the Emotional Side
Let's talk about something nobody addresses: asking for a raise is emotionally difficult.
The Fear Is Real
What Engineers Feel:
"What if they say no and now they think I'm ungrateful?"
"What if this damages my relationship with my manager?"
"What if they think I'm not a team player?"
"What if I'm wrong about my value?"
Here's the Reality:
Good managers respect employees who advocate for themselves professionally. They don't see it as entitled or ungrateful - they see it as an employee who knows their value and is willing to discuss it.
Bad managers might react poorly. If your manager gets offended that you asked for a raise, that tells you something important about your manager.
The Rejection Hurts
If you ask and get rejected, it feels personal even when it's not.
What Helps:
Remember that compensation decisions are often about budget, timing, and organizational constraints - not your personal worth.
A "no" to a raise request isn't a rejection of you as a person or even as an employee. It's a decision about resource allocation in a specific moment.
The Waiting Is Hard
After you ask, there's often a waiting period while your manager reviews, discusses with their leadership, or waits for budget cycles.
What Helps:
Get a specific timeline and then focus on your work. Don't obsess over it daily. Trust that your manager will follow up when they have information.
The Comparison Trap
You'll be tempted to compare your compensation to peers. This usually makes you feel worse and doesn't help.
What Helps:
Focus on whether you're being paid fairly for your value, not whether you're paid the same as someone else whose full situation you don't know.
The Bottom Line (From the Engineer's Perspective)
Asking for a raise is uncomfortable. It requires vulnerability, self-advocacy, and accepting the possibility of rejection.
But here's what I've learned: you have to advocate for yourself. Nobody else will do it for you.
What Works:
✓ Building a clear case based on accomplishments and market data
✓ Timing your request appropriately
✓ Being specific about what you're requesting
✓ Preparing thoroughly and practicing the conversation
✓ Staying professional regardless of the outcome
✓ Being willing to walk away if you're genuinely undervalued
What Doesn't Work:
✗ Hoping your manager will just recognize your value without you saying anything
✗ Asking without research or specific accomplishments
✗ Making it about your needs rather than your value
✗ Comparing yourself to others
✗ Threatening to leave
✗ Getting emotional or defensive
The Hard Truth:
Sometimes you'll ask and get what you want. Sometimes you'll ask and get less than you wanted. Sometimes you'll ask and get nothing.
But asking is always better than silently resenting your compensation while your manager assumes you're fine with it.
And if you build a strong case, time it well, and still get rejected without a clear path forward? That's valuable information. It might be time to find an organization that values you appropriately.
Your career is long. Your compensation over that career compounds. Advocating for yourself consistently over time is how you ensure you're paid fairly for the value you deliver.
It's uncomfortable. But it's necessary.
Next in the series: I'll flip the desk and share the manager's perspective - what it's like to receive these requests, how managers evaluate them, what constraints we're working within, and how to actually get your manager to advocate for you effectively.
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Have you asked for a raise? How did it go? What worked, what didn't, and what did you learn? Share your experiences in the comments or connect with me on LinkedIn - let's help each other navigate these uncomfortable conversations.